Pointless

The thought, a while ago.

I struggled to put it in words ...

I don't allow happiness to get thru. Except with you, it breaks the barrier, again and again. I feel so happy that I could cry. Which I actually did, because I couldn't believe that I could be happy this way again.
Furthermore, I found myself happier after I kissed you.

But I know the signs, I know it's not going to work, I know it's not going to happen and I will stop telling you to give it a shot to someone who will fight for you.

I don't want someone who can just make me happy. I want someone to fight for me too. And I know you, you will just ... let me go.

Touché?

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HIMYM is getting vegetable. Barney's getting old. But I'm always the sucker for being a Robin, a Blair and maybe one day Suess made H got serious for her ... I don't know, whatever.

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I let him go, but I didn't move on. Or maybe I moved on but I did it at such glacial pace or hardly any improvement. Significantly glacial that others moved past me -- wow, they moved on fast.

I'll just live with it until it dies its natural death. I'm sure there's no cure.

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I think I could mastered crying silently in the bathroom with minimal damage to the applied eyeliner and ninety-dollar mascara.

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It didn't feel romantic but it is romantic that when I hitched a ride with someone to work, that someone bought breakfast for me. And maybe he chose that well-known for heavy traffic route so that he could spend more time with me.

Perasan.

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When we're good, we're good. When we're not, just shut the fuck up. Have gone times without you.

Nothing worth telling, nothing worth sharing. Just episodes on rerun.

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I struggle to put it in words.