She just disappears.
+ + +
You know when you are breaking down, and you felt there’s no one you feel like you can turned to, no one you felt like running too because you had to explained to them what you’re going through, there will be too many questions coming from them and while you’re explaining to them you might choke on your own tears.
That’s bad. That’s really bad.
You brought this mess on your own. You need to clean it up. You need to pick yourself up. You need to suck it. You need to take it one shot and cry to yourself while it’s hurting. Until you don’t feel hurt anymore.
There’s just too much sadness you’re carrying inside. Too many grudges you kept filed. You put hope on a chair and put it in a corner. You hardly talked to it or let itself be heard. You’re scared of it, you’re terrified. You don’t believe it.
+ + +
“What the hell just happened? It was pathetic!”
“Yup. It was crazy shit.”
“Scary. I never want to be there again.”
+ + +
“She doesn’t belongs anywhere exclusive. She doesn’t look for anyone, only they looked for her when they think of her.”
+ + +
“You should have it all moderately, but you are blessed when there’s others who bestowed upon you more. Or maybe cursed, depends. It’s needless to remind all of us what’s the point in being popular, well-known or the best when you are not happy, when you can’t get what you want. Then again we should just make do and be happy with what we already have. We just can’t stop complaining and comparing while others had to slave away or have no room at all to correct their mistakes. Or illness.”
+ + +
“Honestly, I don’t think that people ever pay any attention to me. There’s so many other prettier, more interesting gals especially.”
+ + +
“There’s always limitations in what you can do, even though you’re the best at it. One can break through firewalls and changed or delete data but you can never break into time and reset it to buy more for yourself. It’s gone. Time, a mother’s instinct, gravity – among the things that you can never challenge, because it is within His Firewalls.”
+ + +
“I have no one who will fight for me and wants me bad enough for himself.”
+ + +
“Well, you see ... she doesn’t believes in anything on relationship.”
+ + +
“She’s pretty brutal about herself. She usually conjures something out of nothing.”
+ + +
“It’s a very sad song. It just ... sets you back. It’s very lonely and you’re just ... aimless. You keep walking ... not knowing where it ends. You can never get that closure. It’s all agony and desperation that has been kept only to yourself. It’s pointless to tell it to anyone else ... they can’t do anything about it.”
+ + +
“She’s actually very normal, normal. But she pretended herself tragic.”
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