Sunday, March 23, 2014

Amorous

There's nothing that can take a girl out of Paris. Not even the love of her life.

Except Carrie Bradshaw.

But in this era, we have moved way passed the Post-It breakup. Relationships are tricky. Women start wondering just as loud as men – what do men want? And that they are also getting just as bold as the men playing the same game of one night stand, friends with benefits, commitment phobic and keeping their options as wide as their opened legs.

It's that rough out there.

+ + +

"Who are you going with?"
-- "My mum. Probably the last good long vacation before I get married."
"You have a plan?"
-- "Plan for?"
"To get married."
-- "Of course."
"Sorry – you have someone in mind?"
-- "Nope."

Marriage is like death. Not that I mean it is the end of my life. But that I will never know when it will come around. I will already be surprised if a guy actually stayed. I will never know when it will come to invite me, to tell me that someone is waiting and that someone wants to stay long enough and a little while longer.

Because just like death, marriage is one of His Secrets, it's within His Firewall and you can't even take in His Presence already what more to pry. But you can always ask, you can always pray, you can always request it from Him for He becomes shy to return to His servant with empty hands.

+ + +

This is nuts that I am waiting for you each day to wake up. That I am thinking what you are thinking. That I really like the way you talk to me. That it is nice to have you in my happiest thoughts to go through this madness.

Amorous, and you are the lucky one.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Emotionally Invested

I realized that I forgot how it feels like to break up with someone. I may have lost a chance to have relationship again and again as time passes, but when I watched all the break up scenes in the Korean dramas my mother keep watching one after another -- I realized I forgot how it feels like to go through a break up.
I know how a break up goes, how it hurts but it does seemed a bit unfamiliar. Something that I am not that used to, despite hooking up with one guy after another. Despite that it always turned cold turkey when I finally decided to meet them halfway. It seems that I am only desirable when I am unattainable.
When I'm here, I'm here. When I'm gone, I'm gone.
I never like the rules. I never like the games. Yes, I am very bad at it. I am trying not to waste time as much as I have actually wasted my time with one after another. I also realized that I gave in to my desire, my lust. I should not be too mad about it, that's just how it is for the guys too -- just purely biological.