Losing

How does it feels like to stand before the love of your life?

Can't say love of your life, it has to be mutual, and I don't think it's mutual.
Let's rephrase.

How does it feels like to stand before the person you love most?

I imagined it would be ... breathless.

Can't nobody put me in that state any more.

I've run out of things to say, sometimes I prefer silence. Or most of the times I do. I just like to drive, or being drove around, accompanied with the soundtrack of the moment.

I have nothing to offer nor I feel like offering anything. There's the best of me, the me as it is and tantrums packed together. One treads around, lingers but never stayed.

What is this feeling actually, it's crazy to still be having it.
Is it the ideal, or only the memory, really?

When you see him in front of you, you won't have anything to say anyway. You either rise above or you crumbled the moment you know when.

Happy Birthday, Princess

A year ago.

At this time a year ago, I can't remember ... whether I was still inside the pool , looking up to the black sky while clinging to you -- very happily -- or we have moved. Or that they finally left us alone. You marvelled that I could withstand the temperature for so long since I've been there since the prime news began.

You appeared and ruefully complained that I didn't invite you to join  me.

I wished that, we are now together. Maybe already settling down. And you could've said, "Remember a year ago ... we were ..."

But they're just ashes now. Ashes. It has long gone with the wind. You're the ship that has sailed. I don't know why there is still a small part of me thinking wistfully of you.

The point is, it has been a year.

Those who stay, stayed.

"You put hope on a chair and put it in a corner. You hardly talked to it or let itself be heard. You’re scared of it, you’re terrified. You don’t believe it."

Please rest in peace.