MH 85

Hi,

I miss you. I miss you so much that it doesn't hurt but it got me into some crazy fit. Maybe it actually does hurt so I faked cry sometimes, thinking that I would flush out the feeling.

I miss you, stupid. I miss you, silly. I miss your wide and knowing grin when you pulled me close. I miss you pushing your face close to me before you pressed your lips on mine and I gave in.

I miss your arrogance, I miss your flaws. I find them all endearing, only when you held out your hand to me and kept me close to you.

I am actually better off without you, or you should just become an accessory. I am a damaged good, a broken ice queen and almost an android.

As much as I tried to dismiss you, you occupied all the spaces inside my head. My heart, on the other hand, placed you on a pedestal. Needless to say, no part of my body reject yours.

I miss you, sweetheart, I really do. When I stopped thinking about you, or when I have had enough of thinking about you, you came around. You dropped by and say hi, you made your appearance felt in more ways than one. Each time I see you appear, it felt like someone jabbed a needle into my heart then tossed me to the ground. I truly panicked when I see you looked for me when ironically I have been waiting for you, haven't I?

I won't tell you that I am missing you like this. I know you deserved to know but I couldn't be bothered because I know you wouldn't care. I don't waste time on things like that anymore. I don't care that you're not aware about this because I don't want to think about you.

But me, yes, I need to think and look after me. I can't stop me from adoring you and replaying all the things you did and said that made me still believe that there is something out there, that only He Knows.

Imaginary Disclosure

Arissa did a quiz on-line to find out why she could not keep a man. The result came out that she’s too annoying. She scowled at the computer screen and think that there are more annoying people out there and what happened to them? Well, they got married. And reproduce.

Cheap shot.

She read a tweet of someone who seems to have it going – a great job, fashionable, oversea work trips and vacations. In short, those are the benchmarks opposite the other group – married, kids, and well-documented decorated house and who’s who on their Facebook and Instagram.

Among other things.

Back to that someone again – he said he’s deactivating his online social networks, unplugging himself from too much information. Arissa felt for him. It might be a different story but to her, nothing will ever come close to what will always stay inside your heart. One can erase every virtual trace but as long as you’re still living and breathing, you might just need to learn living with what your heart, feeling and mind has gone through with that one person you can never get that disclosure from.