"We have to kill that bastard already."
It's funny, it's really funny. How can someone you've already somewhat sworn off is still in your head. Is still like a regular, popping now and then in your mind. Even make appearances in your dreams that made you wonder, are you coming around or what?
It's really weird, really. You moved on. You go to movies, you have fun. You work hard, you tire yourself off. You go out and eat, meeting people and swore off any intimacy. You're not open to any possibilities and you shut out the past. You let go, you moved on.
Guess it doesn't seems like it. Not that you're missing it, or do you? You always took the farther entry because the nearest one will make you passed the first meeting place. Not that there's any stabbing pain when the memory rushed back to you.
Maybe because you keep saying that he is the last thread of happiness, your mind has efficiently taught itself to only go back to those times before it went south. The e-mails, the way he talks to you, the way you can shut him off, the way you can drove him wild, the way he took care of you then, then, then.
And you do know whatever that he has becomes now doesn't matter, doesn't concerns you. There's nothing to it, "we have to kill that bastard already."
